Thursday, November 29, 2012

Day 3 of 30 days to a better you

Today I said I was going to unplug and spend some uninterrupted time with my son.  Well, we had a great day!  After he woke from his nap we made musical instruments and spent an hour dancing and singing.  After that it was time to prepare dinner.  Owen helped me clean the table to roll out the dough.  He had such a blast playing with the flour.  I usually take tons of pictures but I was so focused on having fun I didn't even think about it.  We loaded the pizza up with tons of sauce and our favorite toppings and stuck it in the Oven. Owen kept looking through the oven window to see if it was done yet.  After dinner we cleaned up a little and pulled the only box of Christmas decorations out of the attic.  I spent what seemed like an eternity trying to get one strand of lights to work.  After I fixed it Owen exclaimed "Woah!  Cool!"  He was so excited.  He helped decorate the tree last year but I definitely think he will be more into it this year.  

After that we started getting ready for bed.  I let him stay in the bath for an extra ten minutes because he was having such a blast splashing and playing with all of his toys.  When he got out his fingers and toes were all wrinkled and he kept asking me to fix them.  I guess next time I wont let him stay in so long.  ;)  

Overall we had a wonderful fun filled day.  While I barely got any cleaning or laundry done, I am ok with that, I can put it off till tomorrow.   Now, I am off to bed.  I have to have blood work done in the morning.  Have a great night y'all.  

30 Days to a Better You

Day 2:  Take a few hours to yourself with no distractions.

Yesterday I took Owen to a babysitter, and had the house to myself for a couple hours.  I took a bath, which I have not done since I got married,  I had a bunch of  candles lit, and I just RELAXED!  It was so nice.  When I was done I painted my toe nails, which I nearly never do.  It was so nice to have some time to myself to just relax and unwind and forget about everything.

Day 3:  Uninterrupted Mom and Son time

Today I am shutting off the laptop, (after I finish blogging and school work and after he wakes from his nap) I am going to shut off the phone.  I planned some great activities for Owen and I tonight so we can really have quality time together.   While I know you are probably thinking I am a stay-at-home-mom, don't I always have quality time with him?  But I must be honest while I am here I am not always here for him.  I might be busy cleaning, cooking, doing school work, or anything.  Besides just before nap and bedtime, we do not really have special time where there is absolutely no interruptions.  I am going to schedule time daily where I am COMPLETELY here for Owen.  Dinner tonight is pizza.  In which Owen will help me mix and roll the dough, spread the sauce and add the toppings.  I am so excited.  He loves to help me cook.

Still Hope

Sorry I have been absent the last couple days.  Tomorrow I have to go in to the hospital to have a blood test done to check my progesterone levels.  I am curious to see what the results say.  I really do not think I have ovulated yet.  I am staying positive and hoping that this weekend we still have a chance.  Yesterday and today I took the opk and the test line is MUCH darker than the control line.  As always here are some pics.

This is the test from Wednesday, the 28th.

This is the test from this morning.  

Very dark test lines.  Makes me wonder if perhaps I will be ovulating maybe tomorrow?  I am not sure.  Anyhow, we are going to BD tomorrow and Saturday just in case.  This is all so confusing and just wish I knew some definitive answers.  Or wish there was an easier way to calculate ovulation time, (besides temping)   Anyhow, until I have some answers, I am just going to keep trying.   I know they say not to test after you get your first positive, but I just couldn't resist.  And with all of these results I am so beyond confused.  Oh well, just keeping our fingers crossed that this month works and that this does not get stretched out over a year.  

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Owen's Birth Story

Preface:  In 2009 I went off the pill in March.  I did not seek medical assistance to conceive.  I was not in a hurry and figured it would happen when it happens.  However, there was one problem, I was not having my period.  Unrelated to ttc I went to Pennsylvania for my nephew's birthday at the beginning of October.  While there Aunt Flo came to visit.  YAY!  ( I know, who gets excited about that?  Someone TTC that's who)  Anyway, I came back home and on October 24th DH and I did the baby dance.  However, I did not think too much of it.  I really was not expecting it to work.  Well, on Thanksgiving that year I was really sick.  I could not eat.  The smell of all the food just made me vomit.  After reviewing and googling all my symptoms we went to buy pregnancy tests.  After taking all three tests in the box, we were convinced I was pregnant.  At first I was in shock.  I could not believe it was really happening.  I was so excited.  I called my Dad right away to tell him the great news.  So, that is how it all started.  

Now on to my birthing experience...

*Side note As most people do when someone is pregnant, we were all trying to predict the date of birth.  My husband said as long as it doesn't happen on the day he does his big event on his game, I said, as long as I do not miss Hell's Kitchen (I know, how selfish.) Guess which day it happened on?* 

Around 10am on the 20th I started having contractions. They were very mild and about 45 minutes apart. I honestly didn’t think they were real contractions I thought it was Braxton hicks. As the day went on the contractions got stronger and closer. Around 6 I was cringing every time I got them and so I was thinking ok maybe this is really happening. When my contractions were about 6 minutes apart I told Martin "I think we need to go to the hospital" All the stuff was already by the door and ready to go so it made leaving very easy and quick. They drive to the hospital sucked!!! I had about 6 contractions on the way to the hospital. Sitting in a car buckled while having contractions SUCKS! We got to the hospital and they put me in the outpatient room to check my progress and see how fast I was progressing. (During which time I watched Hell's Kitchen.  :) )

 After two hours they finally put me in a regular room. I continued to labor through the contractions without an epidural, but it was very painful. I would start to cry every time I had a contraction and my breathing was not very good. Owens Heart rate dropped pretty low because I wasn’t breathing well. After a struggle of trying to get my breathing regulated and his heart beat back to normal I decided it would be better for the baby to get the epidural. So as soon as I was able they gave it to me. They told me to try to get some sleep after the epidural kicked in but I was like a kid before Christmas and was too excited to sleep. I was so excited that every time they took my blood pressure the alarm would go off because I was so excited it was affecting my blood pressure. At about 3am I felt a small dribble and I called the nurse in and told her I thought my water broke. She went to check and as she was getting ready there was a huge gush and without even checking she was like yup your water broke. I had a bulging bag of water and so Owen immediately dropped two positions and the pressure started getting worse. At around 4 I called the nurse in again and told her I felt like I needed to push. She checked me and was like yup let’s start this. I was having a hard time pushing hard enough so it was taking a while. Then Martin asked the nurse if she had a mirror so when the baby started crowning I could see. As soon as I saw his head Owen was out within minutes. Seeing him helped give me the drive I needed to push harder. The doctor almost didn’t make it in the room in time. They told me to stop pushing until he could get there. Once he was in the room I pushed once and out came Owen. I had a small tear but only required one stitch. As Owen came out though he had a bowl movement and swallowed some of it so they had to suction him out. But luckily it wasn’t bad since it happened after he was born.

As far as breastfeeding goes my milk is coming in very well however I have what they call flat nipples so there isn’t anything for Owen to grab onto to suck. I am using a nipple shield as well as pumping to feed him. At first it was a struggle because Owen didn’t want to suck on the silicone. However after I was home he began eating VERY well. So much so that I didn’t have to pump after the feeding he was able to eat all I had to offer. I finally was able to sleep for a little over 2 hours! I was so excited and woke up feeling so refreshed as If I slept for 8 hours. 

I was able to nurse Owen for a little over 4 months.  I wanted to continue but my milk was upsetting Owen.  I tried cutting out Dairy, different veggies, it got to the point I was only eating meat and grains.  I could not do it any longer and asked his pediatrician if we could try formula.  Up until this point Owen would cry daily from around 4pm to midnight.  After we switched to formula Owen became a wonderful happy baby.  I wish I knew that my milk was what was causing so much trouble for Owen, I would have switched to formula so much sooner.  However I was very set on nursing and thought formula was evil.  Now, I know different.  Some times breast is not always best, like I always assumed.  

Another positive

I think this is the real deal this time.  I snapped a picture, as always.  This is the darkest I have ever seen the line.  Bad news though, my wonderful husband is out of town.  I am hoping that the BD on Sunday will suffice.  

On a different note, I am going to add some more tabs to the blog.  Of course there HAS to be an Owen tab.  What mom does not want to brag about her child?  I will include the birth story for those interested, as well as my journey with cloth diapering and tricks I have learned along the way.   I still am going to work on the 30 Days to a Better you, I just have to figure out what all to do for the thirty days.  As soon as I figure it out I will make another post today.  Any ideas let me know.

Monday, November 26, 2012

30 Days to a Better You

To help pass the time I am going to start a 30 day challenge.  A challenge to think of myself and do things for me for a change.  While this sounds selfish it is not meant to be.  Just little things to improve my day.

Day 1: Select one spot in your house that is driving you crazy and clear it out.  Notice how the emptier space makes you feel.
So, today I decided to tackle the pantry.  I hate not being able to find what I need or having food expire because I forgot I had it.

Here is the before:

And here is the after:

Now  I am excited to cook dinner because I can actually find the ingredients I need.  :)   With cooking dinner less stressful it makes it more enjoyable.  

Still positive?

Friday was the first day that I used the ClearBlue Ovulation tests.  I got a smiley the first time I used it.  I have been getting positives with the ClearBlue since.  I am wondering if it is super sensitive, and because I naturally have high LH levels because of the PCOS I am not sure if that is why it is reading higher?  However, when I pull the stick out I did notice that the second blue line has faded.  So I am not sure if it is possible that the first day I got a positive was just my LH levels rising and then the peak of the LH was either Saturday or Sunday and today the positive is simply the LH levels coming back down.  I did call and schedule an appointment for my progesterone test on Friday, but I will not actually be seeing the doctor, I am just going in for the blood work.  I wish that there was a test that actually gave an exact LH level number, this way I can know for sure if it has been on it's way up or at it's peak.  I guess I just have to wait for the progesterone results to see if I ovulated, and wait two weeks to see if anything comes from it.  Now we just play the waiting game.   Until then, I will have to find other things to keep me busy to pass the time.

Since the ClearBlue do not look any different besides the same smiley face, I wont post another picture of the ClearBlue.  However, here is a picture of the generic test.  Still shows a strong line that is similar to the control line.

Friday, November 23, 2012

And so it Begins

In September I decided I was ready to try to get pregnant again.  I really liked the idea of having a few years in between Owen and the next child, but I do not want to wait too long just in case it takes another year to get pregnant again.

This is where it gets personal.  Proceed with caution...

I never really had a 'regular' cycle.  My periods came and went as they pleased with no real rhyme or reason.  However, there have been a few times where it seemed my hormones 'synced' with another female, typically a sister or who ever I was close to.  My doctor does not believe it is possible to get your period just because the person you are close with has theirs, but that is most commonly when I would have mine.  I have only had my period about 8 or 9 times in my life, including after I had DS #1.    Last September (2011)  I had blood work drawn up and was told I had PCOS, this I was already pretty sure of.  I also took the Provera 'Challenge.'   I was given provera to take for 5 days.  Ten days later I got my period.  Which told the doctor that my body was physically able to have a period, my hormones just did not sync up enough to have a 'normal' cycle.   So, fast fwd.  January I had more blood work, given Provera again, and was pregnant less than a month later.  I was pregnant with the twins for 15 weeks, when an extremely high risk pregnancy just turned out to be too risky.

As I said, I have decided it is time to try again.  October 22nd I had an appointment to have blood drawn and to see where I stood and how to proceed.  November 5th I went in and the doctor reviewed my results and we discussed options.
If interested, my results were as follows:
FSH 6.3, LH 10.1, TSH 2.2.
FSH-Follicle Stimulating hormone.  A 'normal' female who has had her period more than once, should have FSH levels of 0.3-21.5 depending on where they are in their cycle.  It is generally higher when menstruating and just before ovulation.
LH- Luteinizing Hormone.  Again, the levels vary person to person, as well as by age, and cycle.  The LH levels peak just before ovulation.  Average LH level is 5-25.   A person with PCOS is prone to having a higher LH level than the average female.
TSH-Thyroid Stimulating Hormone.  Average between 0.4-4.0. Anything over 3.5 it's recommended to be monitored by a doctor.

Tests were around the same numbers from the last two times I had blood work done.  Also indicative of a person with PCOS.   We decided to start off simple.  I would once again take the Provera 'Challenge.'  On day 3 I would start Clomid.  I took Clomid for 5 days.  On day 12 I had a positive OPT (Ovulation Prediction Test).  I was using a cheap store brand LH tests, when I did not get any real definitive results I bought some ClearBlue tests and got a positive right away.  Right after we got our positive we 'got busy.'   Just to be sure, day 13, 14, and 15 will also be added to that.  So, hopefully in a few weeks we can get that BFP (big fat positive).

That's all for now, I will try to keep this updated regularly.

Here are some pictures of the OPT
Here is the generic test

Instant smiley with the clearblue

This is the actual stick that goes into the clearblue

Catching up

It has been a while since I have written.  I completely forgot about this blog.  I decided the other day I wanted to start a blog to keep track of what is going on in my life.  More details to follow.

First I want to catch up on things.  I am still living in NC with my husband and now 2 year old son.  In February of this year I became pregnant after a little over a year ttc.  I quickly found out that I was pregnant with twins.  I was so over whelmed with excitement.  What could possibly go wrong?  I am a twin, there are tons of them born all the time, I shouldn't have anything to worry about, right? Wrong!  After a few weeks I found out that I was pregnant with "Mo-Mo" twins (Monoamniotic-Monochorionic).  Here is an update that I posted on Facebook to help my family understand what I was dealing with.
"I have Monoamniotic-Monochorionic ("MoMo") twins.  This means that my babies share an amniotic sac as well as a placenta.  The good thing about this is that the Twin to twin transfusion syndrome is low, at just about 15%.  However, it will be harder to determine ttts.  There are more serious complications though, cord strangulation, compression, and tanglement.  All these risks scare the crap out of me.  Their cords are already knotted and so the perinatologist plans to remove amniotic fluid to drastically reduce the space the twins have to move.  The hopes are that with out much space to move, they are less likely to hurt one another.   I just want healthy babies.  While I do not wish for my children to have any issues, I know that these special cases are only given to those who are strong enough to handle it.  My babies are so far measuring correctly and developing as they should.  Today, when I looked at my sweet babies, and listened to their hearts beat, I am hopeful for a wonderful healthy future for my growing family and for the amazing gift I have been given."
Well as it turned out, May 15th at a little more than 15 weeks, I was having bad cramps and a little spotting. I was babysitting that day so after I was done I went to the doctors.  He had an ultrasound done and it showed not heart beat on either child, and many knots in the umbilical cords.  He gave me a shot of pitocin to induce labor.  I delivered the twins pretty quickly.  I was able to hold the precious little things.  They really looked like miniature humans.  They were born around 3pm.  We decided to name them Garret Lewis and Derek Marcel.  Garret weighed 57.89 grams, 11cm, and Derek was 59.23 grams and 11.4cm.

After I lost the twins I was a total emotional wreck, as can be predicted from anyone who has lost a child.  I think it was a bit different for me because unlike many miscarriages I was able to hold the twins.  I had the chance to make that emotional connection with them.  I have since seen a grief counselor and finally able to talk about the twins without becoming distraught.

I am still attending school and scheduled to finish in January 2013.  Just two months time!   It is amazing to be almost done.  Any how, that is all for now.  I will make another post about my current situation.