Thursday, December 6, 2012

Bed sharing

When I was pregnant with Owen I told myself I would never bed share.  I did not want to have to deal with trying to get him into his own bed when the time came.  I also did not want to take away from bed sharing with my husband.   For the first 5 months I stuck to my guns.  Owen did not sleep in my bed.  I also did not bring him into my bed for middle of the night, and early morning feedings.  I did not want him to be familiar with laying in my bed and then want that.  However, in January our furnace decided to stop working.  I later learned that lightning hit the house and fried the control boards.  Well it would drop to about 50 degrees in the house at night (thank goodness we live in NC where we do not really have winters.) 50 degrees is too cold for a 5 month old to be sleeping on his own.  At 5 months he did not want to be swaddled and hated blankets.  So I did what any good mom would do until we got our heat fixed.  I brought him into bed with us.  I swore that I would make him sleep on his own once the heat was fixed or it got warm enough for him to sleep on his own.  As you can guess, that never happened.  I still sleep with Owen at night.  I have on  several occasions tried to get him to sleep in his own bed.  Which was successful.  However, it was ME who could not bear to be without him.  This past week he has been especially clingy.  In bed he usually holds a stuffed cat, a car or train, and his blankie.  The past few nights however, he says in a very sweet voice "Mommy, need you."  He then grabs my arm and hugs it as tight as he can and then says "Mommy, love you much."  His version of 'I love you very much.'   It is enough to melt your heart, at least it melts mine.  I do not think he knows what 'I love you' means, but he uses it as if he does.  At this point I am not sure I care.  While pregnant I looked forward to the time when he first said 'I love you' to me.  And now he does, all the time.  It is so wonderful.  With all of this love, how can I bear to make him sleep alone in his own bed down the hall from my room?  I am hoping that when it comes closer to the baby's arrival I can get him to sleep in his own bed.  I do not want him to feel like he has been replaced.  I also do not plan to bed share with baby #2, but we shall see what happens.

Do you have any tips on how or when to get your toddler sleeping in his own bed?

1 comment:

  1. I started cosleeping because I was breastfeeding and needed to sleep to function at school. I tried (sort of) to get Landon to sleep on his own for years. Finally, right before I got married, I moved Landon's bed into my room. He slept there no problem. Then, when we moved, we put his bed in his own room and there was no transition problem. Now, if he feels the need to sleep with us, we set up an area on our floor where he can sleep. Raegan sleeps with us for now, because she's still nursing, but I'm trying to start a bedtime routine to help her start sleeping all night in her crib. She'll start out there but she doesn't stay there yet.